I am interested in converting to Judaism. While I currently have no friends or family who are Jewish, I have been doing quite a bit of personal study, while praying to G-d for discernment on the matter, and feel deeply that this is the right choice for myself and my family. My husband is very supportive and has agreed for our family to live a Jewish lifestyle, he would like to learn more before making the decision to convert himself. I have two questions. First, is it possible for myself and our son (he is 4) to convert, with my husband's blessing, if my husband does not choose to as well? Second, there are only 2 synagogues in my area, both of which are at least a 40 minute drive from our home. One is conservative, the other reform. The nearest orthodox synagogue is about 2 hours away. Is it possible to receive our instructing of Judaism in a conservative synagogue, but the actual conversion (mikvah and so forth) in the orthodox one due to proximity reasons? I hope that makes sense.

Thanks so much for your question. Conversion to Judaism is a long process as it means joining a cultural civilization, not just a religious tradition. Learning the smells of Passover, the internal feelings of Yom Kippur, and the joyful exuberance of Israeli dancing can take a lifetime. I wish you luck in your own spiritual journey. It is wonderful that your husband is supportive of this process. Without family support, I rarely encourage someone to continue the conversion process. Jewish practice is largely a home-based religion. What happens in the synagogue is just one part of a larger puzzle. 
You raise two questions. To your first question, I think that it is possible to convert, and to have your son convert) when your husband is not Jewish. While it is not the normal conversion journey (as if there were such a thing), it is technically possible. But the requirements for conversion vary from community to community, and from rabbi to rabbi. I would encourage you to consult the rabbis in your community to determine whether they would work with you given those circumstances. While I don't know how they will respond, I would encourage you to wait for your conversion until your entire family is ready to proceed.
There is no mitzvah to become Jewish. I mean that it is not deemed more holy or better to be Jewish. Being Jewish provides no special access to God or special privilege to enter Heaven. Being Jewish is just one way of being in the world. Because of that, the rabbis intentionally made conversion a process that was not required of people, and also forbade proselytizing of any kind. And since there is no mitzvah to be Jewish, you could visit a synagogue, begin to study and learn about the Jewish community, and begin to experiment with some Jewish practices. In that sense, being an ohev yisrael (a lover of Israel) might be a good path before choosing to convert. It can be difficult to be Jewish in a home where not everyone is Jewish. Depending on your level of observance you can have different eating needs, different shabbat experiences, and just a different practice and outlook on the world. Doing that through the process of conversion is incredibly challenging. While I will admit that it can be done, it is not the path I would choose for anyone. Kohelet wrote that there is a time for everything in its proper season. My advice is to wait until the proper season has come for your entire family to travel this road together. 
To respond to your second question, I think it is unlikely that your conversion would be completed in an orthodox community when the study has not taken place there. That said, if the mikvah is open to liberal communities for conversion, then the mikvah itself could take place in an orthodox building. But most rabbis will accompany you through the entire process, including mikvah and completing the conversion. Although many denominations work well together around issues of status, a conversion completed with a non-orthodox rabbi will not be accepted within the orthodox community. 

 

Let me answer your question by explaing an Orthodox conversion process.  Four commitments are required: one, the candidate must live proximate to and participate in a local Orthodox community; two, the candidate must pursue a course of formal and informal Jewish education; three, the candidate must increasingly observe Jewish law, custom and practice; and four, the candidate must have a rabbinical sponsor who will set up a network of partners to work with the conversion candidate and empower the candidate to be responsible for his or her own advancement through the process. in your particular case, I would add a fifth requirement -- namely, that you and your husband pursue parallel conversion tracks.

 

 

 

 

My advice would be for you and your husband to make a joint decision.  Should you choose to proceed, you should consider exploring local Orthodox Jewish communities, meet with their rabbis, and then find a way to live within walking distance of the Orthodox Jewish community that best suits your journey. Begin a conversion process there and establish relationships.  And should you not be able to commit to this process jointly, you should strongly consider living your life according to the seven Noahide laws that form the universal covenant that God created with all humanity.  For more information, see http://asknoah.org/

 

God bless and all good wishes for a successful journey.

 

[A large portion of this answer was adapted from a similar answer that I wrote at http://www.jewishboston.com/Ask-A-Rabbi/blogs/5678-how-do-i-convert-to-orthodox-judaism]

 

 

1. Yes, you and your son may convert even though your husband will not be converting. While it is complicated to be creating a family which no longer shares the same religious convictions, Conservative Judaism recognizes that an individual’s spiritual path is not dependant on the participation of others. As long as your husband is supportive and willing to allow you to live Jewishly, by observing Shabbat, keeping kosher, observing holidays and (most importantly) raising your son to be Jewish, you should proceed with your conversion. In order to navigate this potentially complicated path though, you and your husband should meet with a local rabbi for direction and assistance. For more on the logic of this ruling, the eminent rabbinic scholar, Rabbi Ben Zion Bergman wrote of conversions in which the spouse remains of the previous faith back in 1993, which is posted in this link below. http://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/bergman_unconverted.pdf
2. In short, the answer is no. If you take classes with a Reform rabbi, you will convert under the authority and through the rituals of that rabbi; so too for a Conservative rabbi; so too for an Orthodox rabbi. Some special circumstances may apply. Here in Denver Colorado, the Reform and Conservative streams of Judaism operate a joint conversion class and ritual process called the Community Conversion Board. Until 1984, all three streams of Judaism, Reform, Conservative and Orthodox, collaborated on this process together. However, in most communities, you will take classes and meet with a rabbi from a given movement and be converted under the auspices of that movement. Where you pray after your conversion, though, will be entirely up to you- your conversion does not bind you to that movement for life.