Should we be proactive and try to explain our customs to non-Jews, or is it better not to, since many of our customs may seem strange and be viewed negatively by the larger world? For examples: circumcision, and waving the Lulav & Etrog (palm branch and citron - four species).

Your question demonstrates a desire to be open in sharing a precious Jewish tradition with others that are not of your background. Implicit is a belief that you value others in the wider society, yet you have a fear that they may not understand or may cast aspersions upon something that you love.

It is very natural for human beings to be sensitive to the way in which others perceive them. We want to be recognized as “normal” by the larger culture when we find ourselves outside of it. Jews have been outsiders for the majority of Jewish history, and we have had varying degrees of success at integrating into the normative culture. If we desire integration while retaining our distinctiveness, my sense is that we should engender a sense of pride in the customs, traditions, and culture that distinguish us from other groups. Implicit in the question asked here is a sense of shame. A custom is only “strange” when it remains mysterious and unexplained. When we teach Gentiles the origins and value of our customs, we may reduce the feeling that these customs (and we?) are peculiar. In fact, the suggestion that we should withhold these explanations may increase the sense of weirdness that others may feel about our culture. The more we can expose our fellow human beings to the value of our religious traditions, the less foreign and strange they will seem. Many Jewish customs and traditions were shaped by the larger Gentile culture that existed around Jews as they developed our religious traditions. Perhaps Gentiles will see a bit of their own customs and traditions within ours, thus minimizing the sense that our ways are strange while increasing a sense that we are all travellers on a journey toward shlemut, or wholeness.

My experience as a rabbi, who officiates at interfaith weddings and other life cycle events, is that much of the world loves to know about Jewish ritual, and when explained in a welcoming and inclusive way, can bring people to it. Many a wedding has ended with guests coming up and asking if I would officiate for them, with all the same ritual, even though neither of them is Jewish. From the most secular to the most religious Catholics and Hindus, I have been asked this.