If I have a dairy seder, should I put a bone on the seder plate?

 

Your questions raises three issues for me.  One is the mixing of milk and meat. Meaning, CAN you have a shank bone with a dairy meal. Second is the value in Judiasm of being a vegetarian. That is, if one is a committed vegetarian is it permissable to omit the bone. And third, is there a requirement to have that bone anyway. 

 

Third issue first.  The shank bone or zeroa is placed on the Seder to remind us of the offering of the lamb for Pesach. It is a purely symbolic reminder. It is a minhag, custom, to do this. There is no requirement from Halakhic sources. The closest I am aware is the statement in Pesachim 114b that one should have two meat dishes at seder, one in memory of the Passover lamb and one in memory of the Festival offering.  Thus, the zeroa practice evolves as a strong Jewish practice.

 

Second, there are numerous Biblical sources that support being a vegetarian. Early sources in Genesis and the permission given to Noah to eat meat all imply that being a vegetarian is a meaningful moral committment. Thus if one chooses vegetarianism as a moral practice to elevate oneself spiritually (I say this as a non-vegetarian) then one may refrain from eating meat at holiday or Shabbat meals.

 

Finally, the shank bone is never eaten. As a result, one could easily segregate it out so that it didnt contact the other food at the Seder and so COULD be present even at a dairy meal.

 

I would therefore suggest as follows.  If you are not a vegetarian, you should follow the general practice mentioned in the Talmud and practiced through to the present day of eating a meat meal and including a shank bone on your Seder table. I would not eat a dairy meal out of convenience or preference. There is the strong sense that for those of us who do eat meat that a meat meal is more joyous and more fitting to the festival. 

 

By contrast, if you are a committed vegetarian, then you can certainly serve a dairy meal and omit the bone if you want. The Jewish Catalog mentions use of a beet in place of the bone since it is red and can symbolize the blood of the offering used to mark the doors of the Israelites in Egypt.

 

I wish you a truly joyous Pesach filled with feeling of liberation and joy.

I think it depends on a number of factors.  

 

I'd have to ask a few questions, why is the seder a dairy seder? Is it because you prefer that food or because you (or some of your guests) are vegetarian? Also, do you normally keep kosher? Do you generally keep meat and milk separate? Do you keep a dairy home or do you generally have meat in the home?

 

There needs to be a balance between the tradition and your own, personal practice (not just in terms of ritual, but your general life practice).  If you are a vegetarian, especially one who is a vegetarian for ethical reasons, and the idea of purchasing meat is offensive, then I'd say that you should consider not using a shank bone.  Similarly if any of your guests fall into this category; if they will be bothered enough by the presence of the bone as to detract from their experience of the seder, then you might want to consider an alternative (or, if you do use a shank bone, to seat them on the other side of the table).

 

On the other hand, is the bone meaningful to you? Do you feel compelled to follow this tradition because it is a significant ritual in your observance of Pesach? If that's the case, you might want to include it.  Also, consider what about the tradition speaks to you if you want to consider an alternative (many vegetarian seders use a beet; I have seen people use a picture of a shank bone, also).

 

Remember, you're not eating the shank bone, so that could also make a difference.  Perhaps one solution could be to put the seder plate on some sort of a tray or placemat, so that there is a separation between the table on which you and your guests are eating and the one on which the ritual items sit.  Or even to put the seder plate on a small table or tv tray to the side, so that it's not even on the same table.  That way, the one meat dish is used as a meat dish, while the meal itself is dairy.