Introduction: To properly answer your question I shall first explain how the Jewish wedding evolved from Biblical and Talmudic times and became a ceremony with three essential components and several optional customs.
A. Erusin and Nisuin – Wedding Antecedents
More than two millennia ago, the Jewish wedding process was divided into two distinct stages. The erusin àÅéøåÌñÄéï, betrothal,[1] later termed kedushin÷ÄéãåÌùÄÑéï, took place in the house of the bride's parents.[2] It was accompanied by a blessing, birkat erusin. However, the marriage itself was consummated only at a later date, usually a few months later,[3] when the bride moved into the groom's house. It was then that blessings for the nesuinðÄéùÌÒåÌàÄéï , marriage, were recited. Later, in the Middle Ages (12th-14th centuries), the erusin was juxtaposed to the nesuin in one ceremony,[4] and the ketubahmarriage document was inserted as a demarcating sign between the two. Ever since, a three part ceremony has become the standard template of the Jewish marriage.
B. The Tripartite Structure of Orthodox Wedding Ceremonies
Orthodox wedding ceremonies are structured around these three essential components, each of which is a specific form of nuptial commitment based on the three ways of marital acquisition stipulated in the first mishnah of tractate Kiddushin. They are: keseph (monetary value), shetar (document) and biah (physical entering, i.e., conjugal relations):
1. Keseph is represented by the ring presented by the groom to the bride. This is kiddushin, sanctification, and indicates that the woman is betrothed and the couple is now entering an exclusive relationship. After reciting a blessing over the wine, the officiating rabbi recites a blessing contrasting the forbidden sexual relationships to the sanctified covenant of wedlock. The groom then gives the bride a ring and proclaims "You are betrothed to me according to the law of Moses and Israel". Two designated witnesses testify "betrothed".
2. Shetar is the document which is now called ketubahëÀÌúåÌáÈÌä. In Biblical times the groom gave an oral promise of payment (called mohar) to the father of the bride. In Talmudic times this obligation was formalized and written down in a document and therefore became to be known as ketubah (written down).[5] The requisite minimal amount was set at 200 dinar (later zuz[6]), and the obligation was now to pay the bride herself.[7] This was a considerable sum then, roughly enough for a year's living expenses.[8] As a result, many young bachelors were forced to delay their marriage until accumulating adequate funds. In the 1st century BCE, Shimon ben Shetach (c.120-40 BCE) instituted a decree to turn the 200 dinar into a type of loan that the bride would collect only after her husband died or divorced her. He also stipulated that the husband's possessions would serve as collateral for this possible future payment.[9] Another innovation in Talmudic times was to stipulate the obligations of the husband to support his wife and to fulfill all her needs. The ketubah also spelled out additional sums besides the 200 zuz and this was called tosefet ketubah. Furthermore, it detailed the dowry that the bride herself brought to the wedding. In effect, the ketubah had become a prototype of a prenuptial agreement and it was written in Aramaic, the lingua franca in Talmudic times. In Orthodox weddings the ketubah follows the original Aramaic formulations thus preserving the ancient spirit of the wedding formula down to antiquated particulars such as the 200 zuz. It is usually read aloud.[10]
3.Biah is represented symbolically by huppah çËôÈÌä (the wedding canopy) and by yihud éÄçåÌã. The latter means unity and signifies the unique unity of the married couple.[11] This third stage is the nesuin and is marked by Sheva Berakhot. These are composed of one blessing recited over a cup of wine and six blessings expressing joy and hope for the wedding.[12]
C. Additional Customs in Orthodox Wedding Ceremonies
Today, there are several additional customs that are standard in most Orthodox weddings. These include the receptions where the bride sits on a special bridal chair and the groom sits at another location at a tisch (Yiddish for table). The bedeken (covering, Hebrew, hinuma) heralds the ceremonial beginning as the groom is accompanied to the bridal chair and covers her face with a veil. After that, under the huppah, the bride circles the groom at least once, and in many weddings three or even seven times. Finally, a popular custom is the groom's breaking a glass and reciting two verses from Psalms 137, 5-6 which begin "If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let me forget my right hand".
While a typical Orthodox wedding ceremony (huppah) will last about 20 or 30 minutes, some are considerably longer. Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, the Rabbinic musical innovator of the 20th century, turned the Orthodox wedding into a major happening that lasted a couple of hours by interspersing stories, explanations, songs and drama.[13]
D. Non-Orthodox Weddings
Non Orthodox ceremonies adapt many of the above customs but rework them to fit modern concerns such as egalitarianism. For example, rings are exchanged, both groom and bride may circle each other, and the ketubah is rewritten to reflect modern cultural nuances and changing views on relationships. Furthermore, some non-Orthodox clergy revamp the ceremony to apply even to interfaith marriages and same sex marriages.[14]
Conclusion: To sum up, the tripartite template of a Jewish wedding ceremony begins with the act of erusin (betrothal) = kiddushin (sanctification), continues with the ketubah as a written document of obligations, and concludes with nisuin as a full marital exclamation of joy focusing on the sheva berakhot. In a way, it is like a prescribed musical score that can be varied and adapted according to personal and communal interests and wishes. However, the Orthodox weddings emphasize the necessity to adhere to the original structure, language and form as crystallized in Talmudic times, whereas non-Orthodox weddings innovate more liberally.
[1] The term erusin in the Bible indicates a betrothal (e.g., Exodus 22,15 and Deuteronomy 22, 23).
[2] Unlike today, marriages in Talmudic times typically took place at a younger age, and girls lived in their parents' home before moving to the house of their husband. On the topic of early marriage see my JVO response at http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/515.
[3] The time limit for the betrothed woman to get herself organized with clothing and necessities for marriage was 12 months for a virgin (i.e., a girl who had never been married and set up a household), and a maximum of 30 days for a widow (Mishnah Ketubot 5,2).
[4] See evidence from the early 14th century in the Tur, Even HaEzer 62,1, where R. Jacob ben Asher (died in Toledo, Spain about 1343), states that the custom now is to perform the erusin during the time of the huppah and therefore the erusin blessing is juxtaposed to the nisuin blessings, but each with its own cup of wine. Compare Avraham Chaim Freimann, The Order of Kiddushin and Nissu'in After the Conclusion of the Talmud, Jerusalem, 1945 [Hebrew].
[5] Meir Bar Ilan, "Marriage and Other Basic Problems in Ancient Jewish Society", Cathedra, 121 (2006), pp. 23-52 [Hebrew].
[6] In the Aramaic version of the ketubah the term zuz is used because in Babylonia, under the Sassanid Empire from the early 3rd century onward, the standard silver unit was the Sassanid drachm, called in the Talmud zuz from the Akkadian zuzu, "to cut". The 3rd century was one of inflation throughout the Roman Empire, so much so that by the 270s the denarius, instead of being 1/25 aureus was 1/1000. See Talmud Yerushalmi, Ketubot 11,2, 34b. For the coinage system see Daniel Sperber, "Coins in Talmudic Literature," in Arie Kindler, et al. "Coins and Currency," Encyclopaedia Judaica (ed. Michael Berenbaum and Fred Skolnik), 2nd ed., vol. 5, Detroit, 2007, pp. 52-53. In the 16th century, the halakhic evaluation for 200 zuz was established in the Shulhan Arukh as 120 grams of pure silver and according to the Ramah at 960 grams of pure silver.
[7] See the Mishnah in Ketubot 1,2 where the mandated sum is 200 (dinar) for a virgin (an unmarried woman) and 100 for a widow, i.e., a woman had been previously married. Compare Yerushalmi Ketubot, 67b (ch. 12, halacha 5) where ketubot can also be 1,000 dinar. Compare 64b (ch. 12, 1) where an obligation is to provide the bride 12 golden dinar a year for living expenses.
[8] The ketubah was meant to ensure an income for the woman should she be widowed or divorced. A minimal year's living expenses was approximately 200 zuz (dinarim). The average wage of a day laborer during the Tannaitic and early Amoraic period was 1 to 2 dinarim per day. An agricultural laborer who worked an average of 20 days a month (excluding Shabbat, festivals and sick days) earned between 20 to 40 dinarim a month. A person had to work between half an hour to an hour to earn the price of a loaf of bread. See Nisan Rubin, Time and the Life Cycle in Talmud and Midrash: Socio-Anthropological Perspectives, Brighton, Mass., 2008, ch. 4, pp. 75-76. For a listing of daily wages see Daniel Sperber, Roman Palestine 200-400: Money and Prices, Ramat Gan, 1974, pp. 101-102.
[9] See Ketubot 82b and Shabbat 14b. This is considered a radical document in its day because it provided women with legal status and rights in marriage that were not prevalent in ancient times. Compare See Yoel Shiloh, "The Financial Obligation in the Ketubah," Daf Shevui of Bar Ilan University Campus Rabbi, 681, 2007, www.biu.ac.il/jh/parasha/vayshlah/ish.html [Hebrew].
[10]Rashi in the 11th century began a custom of reading the ketubah under the wedding canopy.
[11] The idea of yihud as indicating a private meeting between groom and bride at a place set aside for the purpose is mentioned in Ketubot 54b; 56a, and later formulated in the halachic compilations of the Rambam, Hilchot Ishut 10:1, 2; and Shulhan Aruch, Even HaEzer 55:1-2. In some Sephardic Orthodox weddings the yihud takes place only after the end of the entire wedding celebration.
[12] The first two blessings celebrate the creation of the world and of human life. The earliest antecedent of these two blessings can be traced back to the Book of Tuviah in the Apocrypha about the 3rd century BCE. The other blessings describe how God brings joy to Zion through her children and specifically to groom and bride. The final blessing expresses hope for eternal happiness and peace for the bride and groom. The text and structure of these blessings was crystallized by the end of the 3rd century – beginning of the 4th century (Meir Bar-Ilan, The Bridegrooms' Diadem, Bnei Berak, 2004, pg. 99). The full text of all the blessings is presented in Bavli, Ketubot 7b-8a. The medieval halachic source placing these blessings as the prelude to the nesuin can be found in the Rambam in Hilkhot Ishut 10,3 followed by the Tur and the Shulhan Arukh in Even HaEzer, 62, 1.
[13] For an example of a Shlomo Carlebach wedding video posted on the web see Blip.TV, http://blip.tv/days/wasserman-wedding-with-rav-shlomo-carlebach-and-rabbi-david-stavsky-5101899. There on June 28, 1988, Reb Shlomo, together with his colleague Rabbi David Stavsky, performs the wedding of Harvey Wasserman and Susan Saks. Shlomo recites each of the seven blessings of the Sheva Berachot, interspersing explanations and songs, and taking about 20 minutes just for this segment. Afterwards, during the wedding reception he continues with music, storytelling, hermeneutical explanations, and personal references.
[14] See Rela M. Geffen, "Contemporary Innovations," in the entry on "Marriage" in Encyclopaedia Judaica (ed. Michael Berenbaum and Fred Skolnik), vol. 13, Detroit, pp. 573-574.
As a Conservative Rabbi, I am not able to speak about Progressive (Liberal) marriage ceremonies, nor can I speak for the Orthodox. In truth, Rabbis can only speak of their own movements and their own understanding of other movements. From a traditional Conservative view, Traditional weddings require Kidushin, betrothal ceremony, and Nissuin, marriage ceremony, performed under a huppah with a signed ketubah, marriage contract.
The differences between traditional and progressive ceremonies involve their understanding of these components and their understanding of who can serve as participants. A traditional service will require traditional liturgy, a traditional “kosher” ketubah written in Aramaic, and two “kosher” male witnesses.
All Jewish weddings can incorporate traditional aspects including the bride circling the groom, a huppah and breaking a glass, but what separates them is their adherence to Halacha, Jewish law not merely Jewish aesthetics.
There are many elements that make up a Jewish wedding. Here they are in order, with differences noted in the relevant section:
Chuppah: The wedding canopy is found in all Jewish weddings; it represents the Jewish home the couple builds together. In an Orthodox wedding the bride circles the groom seven times, symbolizing the seven days of creation and the couple’s new world. However in a liberal ceremony one often does not see the circling, or it may be adapted to reflect an equitable partnership of their relationship and home. This is done by the bride cirling the groom three times, the groom circling the bride three times, and then one circle they walk together.
Betrothal blessings (Kiddushin): These blessings include one over the wine and one for the sanctification of the bride and groom to one another. Both blessings are included in all weddings, and the bride and groom both drink the wine from the kiddush cup.
Exchange of Ring(s): This is a critical moment in any wedding. Under the chuppah a formula in Hebrew is recited by the groom as he places a plain band on his bride’s right forefinger. In an Orthodox wedding the bride would not repeat the same act. If she were to present a ring to her groom it would be done after the wedding. However in a liberal wedding it is quite common to see the bride offer the formula as she places a ring on the groom’s finger.
It should be noted that the ring itself bears significance. Jewish tradition maintains that the ring should be plain, no gems or other adornments- indicating that the love of the couple should be one without requiring ornamentation.
Ketubah: Before the wedding ceremony occurs the signing of the ketubah, Jewish wedding contract, takes place. It is read during the ceremony between the two distinct parts of the wedding (kiddushin- “betrothal” and nissuin- “marriage”). The most traditional ketubah is in Aramaic and signed by two witnesses. In more liberal circles the ketubah is signed by both the bride and the groom, as well as two witnesses, and is often in Hebrew and English. Most typically the English is read during the ceremony in these instances.
The Seven Blessings (ShevaBrachot): In both traditional and liberal weddings these seven blessings are recited. The themes of the blessings thank God for all creation, for humanity, for bringing together bride and groom, and redemption for the people Israel. It is quite possible to observe honored guests reading one or more of the ShevaBrachot during any Jewish wedding. Within a liberal wedding it would be common to hear them read in English as well as in Hebrew.
Breaking the glass: At the conclusion of the wedding the groom steps on a glass. There are many explanations for this practice, regardless of denomination; the most frequent explanation is that it serves as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. Once in a while, in a progressive wedding, a bride will also step on a glass.
In addition to these differences within the context of the wedding ceremony, there are a variety of customs leading up to the wedding day and on the wedding day; several distinctions between the traditional and liberal practices can be noted. Many liberal rabbis will also preside over same gender wedding ceremonies which is not permitted in the Orthodox world.
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