The Rabbis teach that G-d does not seek to impose tyranny on His creations. This means, among other things, that G-d does not ever demand that a Gentile become Jewish, and that a Gentile who believes in G-d and His Torah and tries sincerely to follow its directives for all humanity merits eternal life. The rabbis frame such directives as the “Seven Noachide commandments”, and there are formal Noachide societies in the United States. But it is not necessary to join such a society to be a true servant of G-d, let alone to convert.
All that said, you may feel that only conversion can truly fulfill you religiously, or enable you to be who you understand yourself to be. You may also be frustrated that your economic dependence is a restraint on your spiritual independence. These feelings are absolutely legitimate. But in general, Judaism discourages reliance on miraculous intervention when nonmiraculous means to the same ends are available, and I’m very glad that your family is providing for your material needs.
In any case, I don’t believe that anyone can tell you with confidence that you are meant to remain a Gentile, or not. I encourage you to think less in terms of fate and destiny – all based on circumstances that can change in an instant - and more in terms of what you can and cannot practically do right now, if nothing else changed.
It seems to me from your narrative that you have the option to study Judaism, and in any case conversion should be an extended process that requires a great deal of learning and mentoring. So there is no reason not to start, just because there is a chance you may be unable to finish. You may find that the relative religious autonomy of Noachides is a better fit than the discipline of Jewish law, or your family may come around if they see that Judaism is a source of joy for you and seems an authentic expression of your soul.
My suggestion is that you seek to develop a deep relationship with a rabbi whose counsel seems wise to you, and perhaps options will open that are not currently apparent. I also want to make clear that disability is not generally a relevant factor in conversion conversations.
I wish you all blessings and success on your journey.
Answered by: Rabbi Aryeh Klapper