Do you think it could be helpful to women in the Jewish community to have a private place to talk about things of a sexual nature?

We live in a world wherein the most private matters are public fodder. But Jewish tradition has always maintained and guarded the privacy of intimate matters. This is one of the prime areas wherein modesty, tzniut, is essential.

 

So, talking about these intimate matters in public is non-starter. The only place that is appropriate for such discussion is a private place.

 

Sexual dissatisfaction is a serious matter, a matter that is not acknowledged as much as it should be precisely because there is no legitimate place to share feelings and concerns about this.

 

I would go further and suggest that it is in the interests of each Jewish community to work on setting up very private, discrete places where these matters of a sexual nature can be discussed, with a view to addressing concerns associated with sexual satisfaction. This would include abuse, neglect, and lack of true love and intimacy.

 

The extent of this problem is much more prevalent than we think. Creating the space to discuss this issue will benefit everyone in the long run - the women, their husbands, their children, and the community.

Yes, a space for both men and women to safely and respectfully discuss sexual issues in the Jewish community is helpful.

 

Sexuality is an incredibly important part of the human experience. Sex both informs and is informed by the media, politics, and popular culture. Sex sells and sex influences – it is part of the triad (along with money and power) of influence that dominates views of social status and the popular milieu.

 

Our sexuality and gender is also at the heart of our identity as individuals, as couples, as families, as genders, and as a species. Sex is simply a fundamental aspect of our humanity and as such, it generates deep emotions, as well as bears great responsibility and sensitivity.

 

Because sex is such an integral aspect of the human experience, the Torah and millennia of Rabbinic literature has a lot to say about it. Moreover, sex as the reproductive mechanism, assumes undeniable significance in both the Bible and Rabbinics as a sacred act. There are forbidden relationships, there are forbidden sexual behaviors, and there are several Jewish values that pertain to sex such as modesty, health and hygiene, honesty, trust, respect, and honoring the divine image within the self and sexual partner (preferably a spouse in the eyes of the Jewish tradition).

 

Therefore, it would be helpful for anyone to have a private place to discuss sex related matters. I particularly encourage discussing matters of a sexual nature either individually or in small groups – groups and individuals that will abide by the values of honesty, trust, respect, and discretion. Both women and men have unique issues regarding sex, and it may be best to meet with others of the same gender.

 

In word or two, 'Of Course!'

 

The question is where can Jewish women go where it is non-threatening and safe.

 

I have a couple of suggestions.  First, try to see a woman rabbi or, if you comfortable with a man, a male rabbi.  This is helpful if the sexual issues are spiritual in nature.  If they are physiological or psychological, a trained medical professional is a necessity.

 

Talking about sexuality can be very uncomfortable.  The key is to find someone with whom you are totally at ease.  Only then can you discuss the issues you face openly and honestly.