Respecting both the need for closure and the practice of shiva, I would not use this ritual for this purpose. I think it's important to reserve shiva for mourning and remembering the dead. That said, it is important to find the right emotional, spiritual, and ritual path to grow toward closure in the case of abuse or abandonment. In addition to therapy, which I do recommend, I encourage you to consider creating your own ritual and/or finding a mikveh (ritual bath) near where you live to make use of that for a ritual of transition and letting go. In recent years, many non-Orthodox Jews have become reacquainted with the mikveh and its capacity for marking important milestones in our lives, whether celebratory or otherwise.
Click here to view all of the answers for this question.
Question: It is said that man is the supreme being among all creation. What does Judaism say about this?
The best way to understand Judaism's dual approach to this question is to look closely at the two different creation stories. In Genesis 1, God creates humanity as the culmination of the created order. And then God commands the first humans to be in charge of everything: “Fill the earth and master it; and rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and all the living things that creep on earth” (Genesis 1:28). The message here seems clear: humanity is created to dominate the world and the rest of the created beings.
Contrast that, then, with the message of Genesis 2. There, man is created after plant life but before the animals. And then “The LORD God took the man and placed him in the garden of Eden, to till it and tend it” (Genesis 2:15; other translations have “to work it and keep it”). Here, man is created to be the steward of creation, the caretaker appointed by God to oversee the garden.
One story suggests domination; the other, responsibility. The rabbinic tradition grapples with this tension. On the one hand, humanity is seen as the only moral agent in the world, therefore worthy of domination of the created order. On the other hand, limits are set up around the extent to which we humans are allowed to exploit the created order for our own benefit, for "The earth is the LORD’s and all that it holds, the world and its inhabitants” (Psalm 24:1). Jewish tradition imposes limits to man’s dominion in the following categories, and more: the slaughter and eating of animals; the destruction of trees during wartime; the treatment of animals used for work; the treatment of lost or injured animals; the provision of rest for farmlands and the corners of fields for the poor and needy.
The words of Psalm 8 (v. 4-10) echo this duality:
"When I behold Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and stars that You set in place,
what is man that You have been mindful of him, mortal man that You have taken note of him,
that You have made him little less than divine, and adorned him with glory and majesty?
You have made him master over Your handiwork, laying the world at his feet,
sheep and oxen, all of them, and wild beasts, too;
the birds of the heavens, the fish of the sea, whatever travels the paths of the seas.
O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is Your name throughout the earth!”
Somewhere between divine beings and the lower animals, we find our place within the created order. We are but dust and ashes, and yet we are created in the image of God. Both sides of this coin together complete the Jewish picture of humanity, calling us to self-respect and humility, responsibility and gratitude.
Click here to view all of the answers for this question.
Question: A question came to mind after listening to recent high profile news story, that may closely parallel a key “Jewish Value” drilled down by our parents, "you can be friends with non-Jews, but you can’t date them". Can this be interpreted as racism? Is this cause for non-Jews to hate Jews?
I don’t believe that the sentiment “don’t date non-Jews” is racist, or it doesn’t have to be. According to one dictionary, racism is “prejudice or discrimination against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior.” I think the last phrase is key. I would suggest that the vast majority of parents who drill this “marry a Jew” sentiment into their children do not do so because they think Jews are somehow a superior race. Rather, I imagine it’s an expression of their attachment to an ethnic heritage that they want to continue being passed down to the next generation. To put it simply, they want their grandchildren to be Jews.
It may come off as racist to a younger generation because of a generation gap in how we define Jewish identity. Indeed, underlying your question is a profound issue of defining Jewishness. Is it primarily an ethnic heritage, or a values-based aspirational commitment? These are not mutually exclusive, of course, but the distinction needs to be teased out to fully answer your question. A parent who demands “marry a Jew” may be primarily an ethnically identifying Jew; the adult child who resists this sentiment is probably not, feeling that Jews are just like other people and wondering why these labels should matter.
But even for “aspirational” Jews, for whom ethnicity is not the primary foundation of Jewish identity, there can be a basis for preferring their children marry (and therefore date) Jews. If they believe in a set of Jewish values and rituals, and they want that way of life with its moral teachings passed on to their grandchildren, then they might make a similar demand. More and more, however, I experience parents welcoming their child’s non-Jewish spouse and supporting the “interfaith” couple in creating a Jewish home with Jewish children. Our sociological realities are changing dramatically, but the way we understand and speak about it is lagging.
Click here to view all of the answers for this question.
Question: Please answer a question from an artist in Denmark whether there is such a thing as "typical" Jewish catchwords pertaining to ethical values in the Jewish tradition.
An artist wishes to use the Hebrew words or acronyms for a memorial for Danish Jews who perished during WW2.
A number of Jewish "catchwords" come to mind related to the Jewish ethical tradition. Here are a few thoughts:
• tikkun olam, literally "repairing the world", comes out of a mystical belief that we each have a divine spark to reunite with the source of all light. In recent decades this term has come to be synonymous with doing community service and advocacy to create a more just and peaceful world.
• tzedakah, often translated as "charity," actually means "righteousness." This speaks to the Jewish belief that giving is an obligation that we do for the common good and for those in need.
• tzedek tzedek tirdof from Deuteronomy 16:20 means, "Justice, justice shall you pursue." It has come to be a watchword of the Jewish commitment to fighting injustice. One interpretation of why "justice" is repeated is that it teaches us that, even in the pursuit of justice, we must act justly.
• v'ahavta l're'acha kamocha, "love your neighbor as yourself," is found in Leviticus 19:18 among other places in the Bible. It is also the punchline of the famous story of 1st century Rabbi Hillel who was confronted by a cynical person who told him to explain all of Torah while standing on one foot. "Love your neighbor as yourself," he said. "The rest is commentary -- go and learn it."
• in Pirkei Avot, Rabbi Hillel made the famous statement: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?"
I hope these are helpful.
-Rabbi David Segal
Click here to view all of the answers for this question.
Copyright 2020 all rights reserved. Jewish Values Online
N O T I C E
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN ANSWERS PROVIDED HEREIN ARE THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL JVO PANEL MEMBERS, AND DO NOT
NECESSARILY REFLECT OR REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THE ORTHODOX, CONSERVATIVE OR REFORM MOVEMENTS, RESPECTIVELY.
