There are many organizations today based in Orthodox Judaism regarding a solution for the issue of Agunah.  While there is no clause added to the ketubah as is present in the Conservative Movement (the Lieberman Clause allowing for women to initiate divorce; Orthodox women and rabbis have taken action in favor of women’s rights.  Many orthodox rabbis encourage grooms to sign prenuptial agreements before they sign the ketubah.  This is a very serious issue because Jewish women without a get (Jewish divorce document) are trapped and may not marry again if not granted such a document; even, with a civil divorce.  Some organizations even make it possible to serve the man with a get (Jewish divorce document) if he refuses to come before a beit din.  They will also attempt to locate the man if the woman does not know ever where he is.  Awareness is key and strides are being made. 

You will find the following websites helpful –

http://www.agunahinternational.com/ - Agunah International

http://www.jofa.org/about.php/advocacy/otheragunaho - Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance

http://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/international-coalition-for-agunah-rights-icar -Jewish Woman’s Archive, International Coalition for Agunah Rights – includes history, bibliography, stories, education, film among other resources.

 http://www.njjewishnews.com/njjn.com/060806/njMeetingInNewark.html - Interesting article regarding Rabbinical Council of America in relation to Agunah issue.

In the Reform movement it is left to the rabbi’s discretion to suggest whether regular burial services and mourning rites would benefit the family in the case of a still-born or a baby which dies within 30 days.  I would not question whether or not to have a funeral.  I would suggest that the family choose a simple burial, with close family and friends (perhaps some of the medical professionals who supported the family through such a tragedy). A funeral and tradition mourning rituals provide an opportunity for the family to grieve.  

If they would like to have a shiva minyan, fine.  If they want the baby’s name read during the period of sheloshim, fine.  My responsibility as a rabbi (family and friends) is to comfort the family and reassure them that the many emotions they are experiencing are valid.  If they do not want something done formally, this is their choice and I would never force the issue.  Perhaps, it may be more than they are ready to grasp at the moment.  In this case, I would talk with the parents of the child and determine what might be done to help begin the healing process. 

The death of a child, no matter what the age, is heart retching.  Healing will come; however, memory will not die.   It is also important to not pass judgment on the decision the parents make.  This is not a time to be critical.  It is not the time to hold fast to tradition or to quote text. 

Traditionally, there is not a service (your understanding is correct).  According to Jewish law and traditional beliefs, mourning rites were not observed for infants who died within 30 days after birth for they were considered abortive (J. Yev. 11:7; Shab. 135b)” Then, little was made of infant deaths or abortions. They occurred frequently and the communities would have been in a constant state of mourning if rites had been required.

In any case, he/she is buried, and not disposed of like a miscarried or aborted fetus.  A miscarriage may, however, be disposed of by the hospital or clinic in accordance with its usual procedures. According to Reform Jewish Responsa literature, "No burial is necessary but it is also not prohibited; we would suggest it for infants and possibly for still-births."  So, while this is a decision ultimately of the parents, others should be supportive and the rabbi should listen and really hear the emotions, concerns, thoughts, pain and fears.

November 9, 2010, is the anniversary of Kristallnacht. How should we be continuing to remember the Holocaust today?

Oral History, personal stories and/or collective stories linked to artifacts, pictures, and diaries.  If you are able, make the journey to Germany, Poland, and other counties that were occupied by the Germans. In addition, remember that there were many countries where survivors were able to escape:  China; England (Kinder transport), Australia, (there are many if one does the research).  Also remember that each story is unique and to never say, “I have already heard a survivor speak.”

There are many ways to teach the Holocaust with the method above honoring the memory of those that perished and those survivors who are no longer present.  Most every community I have lived in or traveled to, large or small, has someone who is connected to the Holocaust – directly, through family, WWII veterans who fought on the western front (many survivors or, some prefer the word refugee, are also WWII vets who were able to pretend they did not know the language; and, were able to share information they heard or translated.  Also, you can connect with the Jewish War Veterans group  in your  community or nationally.  Sadly, many of these people are no longer living, are child survivors that may or may not be able to tell their story.

Personal stories may be based on collective history, video, diaries, publications by survivors, their children, or grandchildren.  These connections are what touch the heart of others and make what is historical for so many – real and tangible.  As a grandchild of survivors, I find it more meaning full to honor the survivors and their descendants during times like Yom HaShoah, Kristallnact, Yom Kippur, (for those more observant) T’shabav, and on other significant dates. 

An example, as a grandchild of survivors, what I have done for these observance is not have a speaker who does an academic overview or monuments of today,  the most “famous in town” survivor who speaks or a guest who travels and tells their story, but, I like to call all the members of a survivor’s family up to light a tea candle from another larger candle.  It is very powerful to see how many have had children that they never thought was possible.  Many have even been blessed to see the 4^th generation.   

Imagine 20+ people, 4 generations and including not only survivors but those in the community who are 2^nd generation who are not living in the same city or whose parent is deceased.  I share brief bios beginning with what their journey was to America, how the couple met, how long they have lived in the community, where they first settled and from where, what they did when they arrived here…you get the idea.

This communicates what is rare to hear in the 21^st century “Look at my arm.  How can you say this did not happen?” Or “hear me, listen to me” I tell my grandparents story sharing the telegram that I inherited when my grandpa died.  It was sent to my grandma’s mother and sister in Canada.  I said that said she and her brother were alive.  I have photos of those who perished because of the two that went to Canada in 1938.  I have group family photos and I was not afraid to ask questions.  I also have a letter that my grandma wrote to me for a school project about her experience.

If this is not a part of your personal history – reach out to a survivor who may not have someone to remember their story or have an interested family member.  Learn it and share it.  If they have items or photos, preserve them and share them with others.   I have spoken at conferences representing the 3^rd generation, secular and Jewish school, governmental agencies with diversity sessions, and I have a 17 minute film of grandchildren of Holocaust survivors that grew from my rabbinic thesis which included original research of this generation.

If someone doubts or questions the legitimacy of what you shared, know the history behind what you are sharing.  What happened when people were in hiding, what happened in the work and death camps, how people escaped to freedom.  With the German and Russian achieves open, it is possible to do research, finding documents that are detailed are incredible resources.