Question: Can an Orthodox Jew be a witness at a Conservative wedding? What about a Conservative Jew at an Orthodox wedding? Or a Reform Jew at an Orthodox wedding? Who can serve as a witness, and what are the considerations?
As a Conservative rabbi, I believe that any adult Jew, male or female, can serve as a witness at any kind of Jewish wedding, regardless of the denomination. However, there are some Orthodox rabbis who want only mitzvoth observant men to serve as witnesses at weddings, and there are some Conservative rabbis who also only allow men to serve as witnesses since women did not traditionally serve in this capacity. It is best to ask the rabbi who is officiating at your wedding who he or she will approve as witnesses.
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Question: I have a question regarding a charitable endeavor my shul is involved in. For many years, we have hosted homeless guests (from a nearby shelter) for a week in our building. About three years ago, we started taking them in during the week of Christmas. Our homeless guests are non-Jews, and we have had a Christmas tree placed in our building for them. We have even brought in a "Santa Claus" to pay a visit to the children. As we are a Conservative congregation, there are, naturally, members who oppose the tree and other signs of Christmas in the shul building. I am one of those who also dislike the practice, however, I continue to volunteer to care for our guests. But I wonder, are we going too far, in terms of the Christmas celebrations? Our rabbi states that we shouldn't take offense because, after all, many of the symbols connected with this holiday are from pagan origins, rather than being specifically connected with Jesus. Personally, I view that (pagan symbols) as being just as bad, perhaps even worse!
It is my opinion that we should go back to hosting the homeless on a week other than that involving the Christmas holiday. This would solve the problem about causing offense to some of our more traditionally-minded congregants (regarding the tree and Santa). I was wondering what your take on this situation might be.
What an interesting question! You would solve the problem by moving your guests to another week. This is certainly a possibility you can pursue.
However, should your shul continue to host the homeless guests during Christmas, then I would encourage you to continue the practice of having a Christmas tree and bringing in a Santa Claus for the children. This is a great way for the entire shul community to learn the value of “hachnasat orchim,” welcoming guests in to one’s home. By making your guests feel comfortable during their holiday, you are proving yourself to be exemplary hosts.
I fully appreciate that it is disconcerting to see a Christmas Tree and a Santa Claus in a shul. I would not advocate frying up some bacon in the shul kitchen as a way of welcoming guests since this would clearly be violating Jewish law in a Jewish space. The issue of a tree and Santa in a shul revolves around the principle of “morit ayin,” – a strange thing for the eye to see. Yes, this is strange. However, the teaching opportunity here is great. The rabbi or shul president can write a piece in the shul bulletin or blog teaching about welcoming guests and that the shul is doing a mitzvah by doing so. In addition, signs welcoming the guests and pointing out the Christmas tree for their enjoyment would also make the purpose of the tree clear to all who enter the building.
To volunteer to host these guests during a week when many social service agencies are short staffed is a true mitzvah. Jews can step up and help this week because we are not celebrating the Christmas holiday. For us to be able to help other celebrate their traditions is a blessing and a mitzvah. I would hope others would do the same for us.
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Question: Is it appropriate for a rabbi (as a religious leader) to discuss partisan political issues either from the bimah or as part of a kiddush program in shul (synagogue) on Shabbat?
Yes, a rabbi can discuss partisan political issues BUT it depends how he or she does it. A rabbi will be more successful in discussing partisan issues when he or she lays out the arguments on both sides of the issue. This way both sides feel heard, even if the rabbis decides to offer her or his view on which side she or he supports. A rabbi should try to be as inclusive as possible so that everyone in the community feels like they have a place there. Respectful honest debate on issues certainly has a place in a Jewish setting. After all this is exactly what the rabbis of the Talmud did. They debated everything. Tone, safe space, and open conversation are key to a successful conversation.
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Question: Should my wife be buried with her family at their family plot or should we buy two new plots and be buried side by side?
You pose an interesting question. Jewish law allows for both options. Shulhan Arukh Yoreh Deah 362:3 states: "Those who were together in life may be buried together in death." In addition, burial in a family plot separate from a spouse is also permissible.
Thus, the answer to your question lies in your own personal preference and family dynamics. Have you discussed this with your wife? What are her preferences? What are yours? How would her family feel if she was not laid to rest beside them? Is there room in her family’s plot for you? Do financial concerns play a role here? What else effects your decision?
Once you begin to address these questions, your answer will become clear.
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Question: I was adopted at birth, and had little religious teaching as a child. As a young adult I explored Christianity, but I was never able to fully embrace the concepts and beliefs that they expressed. At 40 years of age I established contact with my birth mother, who informed me that I am Jewish (she is not a practicing Jew, but is Jewish by heritage). After finding out where I come from I have spent the last few months looking into what Judaism is and what it means to be a Jew. I must admit it has awakened something inside of me, and I now think I know why I was never able to engage with Christianity. My question is how do I prove the bloodline, I have gotten mixed answers ranging from “a letter from my birth mother stating that that she gave birth to me and that she is Jewish” to “It cannot be proven and conversion is the only way,” or consult “genealogy records.” I would convert if that is the only way, but I would prefer to prove that I am Jewish by birth as I have daughters who will carry on the bloodline. What can you tell me?
I am struck that you ask not if you are Jewish, but how to prove you are Jewish. Why do you need to prove it? Who do you need to prove it to?
In today’s world most people have fluid religious identities. I doubt very many people will question you about your Jewish bona fides. However, for your own piece of mind, the most traditional Jewish sources will tell you that you are a Jew. Your birth mother was Jewish, therefore you are Jewish. If anyone asks, that is all you need to say. In the meantime, I would encourage you to take an Introduction to Judaism class, read about Judaism, and begin to experience the rituals and customs. If anyone is curious about why you do not already know about Judaism, just say that you did not come from a religious family. Most Jews today don’t.
Tell your daughters your full family history and explain their connection to Judaism as well. If you are a woman, then by Jewish law, your children are Jews as well. If you are a man and your children’s mother is not Jewish, then you will need to take them through the conversion process if you want them to be recognized as Jews.
The only place that will ask you for documentary proof of your Jewish identity is the State of Israel if you plan to move there. Only then would you need documentation from your birth mother, a letter stating that she is a Jew, a copy of her birth certificate, her parent’s marriage license, and things like that.
I am excited for you that you are embracing this part of your identify. I hope that your Jewish practice brings you great meaning and fulfillment.
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Question: I am an avid meditator, and given that the eastern meditative techniques are so prevalent, I have grown accustomed to doing certain "chakra meditations." However, the Chakras are an eastern concept, and Judaism has the sefirot. So for a Jewish soul, do the Chakras exist? Or, do we use the sefirot instead because our souls and bodies resonate with a different divine energy altogether?
I am glad that you have found meditation to be a meaningful spiritual activity for you. You ask whether the chakras exist for a Jewish soul, or if the sefirot concept would be a better one for you to use. Both Sefirot and chakras serve a similar purpose, to help us align ourselves with God, and you can find several schemas which match up the various chakras with the appropriate sefira. (See the chart below for an example).
I do not think you need to worry about whether the chakras or the sefirot actually “exist.” If they work for you, then use them. Is a “Jewish soul” different from another person’s soul? Are there different soul energies which will work better with different kinds of spiritual intervention? I think the answers depends entirely on your own theology and understanding of what these concepts mean.
As a Jew, if you are more comfortable using the names of the sephirot, since they add meaning to your practice by connecting you to your own tradition, then I would recommend doing so. For further exploration in these matters, I would direct you to look at the Jewish Lights Publishing house www.jewishlights.com. They publish many books with wonderful teachings about kabbalah and Jewish spirituality.
Chakra
Level
Sefirot
Sahasrara
crown or above the head
Keter
Ajna
brow or 3rd eye
Binah and Chokhmah
Vishuddha
throat
Gevurah and Chesed
Ahanhata
heart
Tiferet
Manipura
navel
Hod and Netzach
Svadhisthana
genitals
Yesod
Muladhara
base of spine
Malkhut
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Question: An article (in the Science & Health section of the Feb. 14, 2012 edition of the New York Times) stated that a senior residence facility passed an edict that residents in the assisted living and nursing facility can not eat in the same dining room as the independent living residents. (I recommend you read the article). Some couples and friends can no longer dine together. Various reasons were cited for the decision, including space, mobility, safety and concern about depressing the independent residents. This is screaming out to me as a great discussion topic in Jewish values. I can point to the values of caring for the sick and disabled, treating your neighbor as you would like to be treated, honoring the elderly, etc., but I am looking for specific sources and quotes to use as a teaching lesson. Thanks.
Judaism places great value on caring for the elderly. The Ten Commandants contain the admonition to “Honor your Father and Mother” which is interpreted to mean that you must care for them when they become aged. Several sources provide quotes to use for teaching:
·“You shall honor the old.” - Leviticus 19:32
·“Abandon me not when I grow old.” - Proverbs 71:9
·“He who learns from the old, to what can he be compared? To one who
·“Whoever greets the old... it is as if he greets the Divine Presence.” -
Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 27
·“Gauge a country’s prosperity by its treatment of the aged.” - Rabbi
Nachman of Breslav
·“ A test of a people is how it behaves toward the old. It is easy to love children. Even tyrants and dictators make a point of being fond of children. But the affection and care for the old, the incurable, and the helpless are the true gold mines of a culture.” Abraham Joshua Heschel
Caring for the sick is an equally great value, and there are many, many texts you can use to teach, here is a small sampling:
I.“These are the commandments, the fruits of which a person enjoys in this life, while the principle endures for him to all eternity: honoring one’s father and mother, performing deeds of lovingkindness, hospitality to wayfarers, visiting the sick, dowering the bride, accompanying the dead to the grave, devotion in prayer, making peace between man and his fellow, and the study of Torah is equivalent to them all.” - Mishnah Peah 1:1
II.“Visiting the sick is a mitzvah which everyone is obligated to perform. Even someone who is great (who has high status) should visit someone who is not. One should visit several times in one day. The more one visits, the more praiseworthy it is, so long as this does not bother the patient. When one visits the ill, it is as if he takes away a portion of the illness and lifts the burden of the illness. When one does not visit (the sick), it is as if he has shed blood." - Moses Maimonides, Mishneh Torah, Laws of Bikkur Cholim
III.Rabbi Hiyya ben Abba fell ill and Rabbi Yochanan went in to visit him. He (Rabbi
Yochanan) said to him: “Are your sufferings welcome to you?” He replied: “Neither them nor their reward.” Rabbi Yochanan said to him, “Give me your hand.” He gave him his hand and he raised (healed) him.
Rabbi Yochanan once fell ill and Rabbi Hanina went to visit him. Rabbi Hanina said to him: “Are your sufferings welcome to you?” He replied: “Neither them nor their reward.” Rabbi Hanina said to him; “Give me your hand.” He gave him his hand and he raised him. Why could not Rabbi Yochanan heal himself? They replied: “The prisoner cannot free himself from jail.”
- Brachot 5b
Given the clear messages of these texts we are all commanded to take care of the elderly, visit the sick, and respect each person’s divine individuality. The retirement communities described in the New York Times article need to carefully balance the needs of all of their residents and take care of each of them with dignity and respect. These texts will lead to a rich discusion of values.
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Question: What does Judaism say about dating and matchmaking and marriage after a young woman has had cancer and can no longer bear children?
Genesis 2:18 states, “It is not good for man to be alone.” There is deep and abiding wisdom in this verse. Jewish tradition recognizes that people are generally happier when they are in community and interacting with one another. Modern scientific studies on happiness support his wisdom. Thus, whether or not a woman can bear children should have absolutely no effect on her ability to date and marry. If she wants to find a partner, then she should date and marry.
If the couple chooses to have children, they have the option of adoption. Jewish law regards adoption as an equally viable option for having children. Children adopted in to a home are regarded as the children of that couple. If not born to a Jewish birth mother, they can be easily converted, and they carry the name of their adoptive parents. Lots of resources exist to help a couple on their adoption journey. I traveled this road myself, and am happy to answer any questions.
Do not let an inabilty to have biological children get in the way of finding love and creating a family.
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Question: We hear from many politicians (most often those running for high office) that 'Everyone agrees' on issues concerning when life begins, homosexuality, marriage, etc., all based on using 'our religion' as the premise for the assertions. Should Jews enter the discussion in religious terms based on Judaism and Jewish values and Jewish law, especially where they disagree with these assertions?
In the US we have allowed the Christian religious right to co-opt the conversation on religion and politics. They often assert that to be a religious person means to supporting their agenda and their candidate, often a Republican. Last time I checked, God has not registered as a Democrat or a Republican.
Several recent books address this phenomenon notably, EJ Dionne’s, Souled Out: Reclaiming Faith & Politics After the Religious Right" (2008) and Jim Wallis’, God's Politics. Both men argue that religious faith and values can play a role in the public sphere while keeping the division between church and state. In their books, both point out that the religious right has created the culture wars by making the statement that religion ONLY has something to say about abortion, homosexuality, marriage etc. when in fact religion can also inform the conversation on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, environmental issues, and social justice. Doesn’t the Bible teach that we supposed to choose life, protect the earth, and take care of the poor, orphans, and widows? One can be deeply religious and lean left politically. Something that seems out of step with the dominate messages sent out by the political parties.
So, should Jews enter the discussion in religious terms based on Judaism and Jewish values and Jewish law, especially where they disagree with the assertions about homosexuality, abortion and marriage? Absolutely!!
We should use our religious tradition to first change the frame of the conversation and broaden it beyond these touchstone issues. Then, we should use the values taught in our tradition to help frame our thinking on political issues. Jewish law and values will not tell us directly how to vote on every issue, but it can and must help us to think about the issues facing us today. What is our responsibility towards the earth for example? Are we required by the Torah to live sustainably? Lets study the texts on the sh’mita, the sabbatical year in the Bible where the earth is left fallow. What do they teach us? We could do the same with the number of text admonishing us to take care of the poor and widowed. What an amazing educational opportunity for us all that will bring true value and meaning to the ancient text and have them inform our lives today. I think we need to jump in and start learning, and then talk about what we have learned with our friends, neighbors, and politicians. Absolutely let’s enter the conversation. We have a lot to contribute!
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Question: Is it a sin to move a person's casket to another plot in the same cemetery? My mother does not want to be buried between her husband and her father-in-law and, if they move my father over one spot, the problem is solved.
You pose a very difficult question. According to traditional Jewish sources, it is not permissible to move a body once it is buried. There is a mitzvah, commandment called “kavod hamet” which means, “honoring the dead.” Jewish tradition proscribes in great detail how to take care of a recently deceased person and prepare them for burial. The body is to be washed, cleaned, and dressed in simple linen garments called tachrichim (shrouds). The body is then put into a simple pine coffin and buried. A living person sits with the deceased’s body and recites psalms until the coffin is interred in the ground. Once buried, the remains are left to “return to dust.” Moving a coffin from one plot to another is more difficult that it seems. There is no way to know how much the coffin and body have decomposed, thus making moving them very difficult. In addition, by trying to move the remains you are going against the value of honoring the dead. The remains are not to be disturbed.
That said, I understand that you want to honor your mother's wishes about her burial. There is no easy solution here. I would encourage you and your mother to talk with a professional, a rabbi, therapist, or chaplain. There are many issues to look at here. It sounds to me that your mother should explore her feeling about her relationship with both her husband and father-in-law, and her feelings about her death and burial. Perhaps another solution can be found which will leave your father's remains in place and provide her with the burial she desires. She may even be able to purchase the plot on the other side of your father.
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Question: How can Jews bring Judaism into celebrating Thanksgiving?
How can Jews bring Judaism into celebrating Thanksgiving?
Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday because it focuses us on the things in life we have to be thankful for. Take a moment to think of those things for yourself. If you are like me, you may think of family, friends, a safe house to live in, and having plenty of food to eat. Many families have a Thanksgiving tradition of going around the table and having each person say something that they are thankful for before eating the festive meal. I find this tradition moving each year.
It is not a stretch to bring Judaism in to your Thanksgiving celebration since being grateful for what you have and saying thanks is a core value in the Jewish tradition. The prayer “Modeh ani Lifanecha” a prayer recited by religious Jews every morning upon waking up thanks God for the ability to wake up. Another prayer thanks God for allowing our bodies to function, and another thanks God for restoring our souls to us each morning. In fact, almost every blessing we utter is in fact a way so saying thank you to God.
Lets look at the Motzei, the prayer for eating bread “ Baruch ata adonai, melech ha olam, hamotzei lechem nim ha’aretz.” Blessed are you Adonai our God, ruler of the world, for bringing forth bread from the earth. We bless God and thank God for giving us bread. Therefore an easy way to bring Jewish traditions to your Thanksgiving table is to add some traditional Jewish blessings. I would recommend saying the blessing over the bread above. You can also bless wine, “Baruch ata adonai , melach haolam, boreh pri hagafen” Blessed are you Adonai our God, ruler of the world, for creating the fruit of the vine.
I would also recommend reciting the Shehechianu prayer. Which is “Blessed are you Adonai our God, ruler of the world, for sustaining us, and keeping us, and bringing us to this time.” I can’t think of a better Jewish prayer to recite in the spirit of Thanksgiving. Thank you God for bring us here, for allowing us to celebrate with friends and family, and for putting food on the table.
If none of these traditional prayers feels quite right to you, then by all means make up your own prayer. Judaism values prayers of thanksgiving said from your heart as much as the prayers we find in the prayer book.
I pray that you have a meaningful Thanksgiving!
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Question: Why does Hillel choose “What is hateful to you, do not do unto your neighbor” as his version of “the entire Torah?” Why not “Love God” or “Keep mitzvoth.” HiIlel’s tenet is never actually mentioned in the Torah itself.
Hillel chose “What is hateful to you do not do unto your neighbor” as his version of “the entire Torah” because at heart, Judaism is a religion based on a system of laws created to build community. All people need some rules and regulation to help them get along with each other, and most of Jewish law has to do with “ben adman l’chavero,” laws between two people. If you boil down the essence of all of these laws, you get, “what is hateful to you do not do unto your neighbor.” By following this simple advice, people would get along better with each other, fights and wars would not break out, and communities would flourish and grow. Now, if only we could always follow this simple wisdom!
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Question: Judaism has changed and adapted over the course of time; polygamy, for example, is no longer allowed. So today is gay marriage something that Judaism should adapt to as well?
Judaism has changed and adapted over the course of time; polygamy, for example, is no longer allowed. So today is gay marriage something that Judaism should adapt to as well?
When we talk about Judaism today there is no one monolithic “Judaism” and thus no way can one apply the word “should” to Judaism. As you can read on this very website, there are many different streams, thoughts, and opinions with in Judaism which are accepted by many different groups of Jews. So “should Judaism as a religion accept gay marriage” is a question that will be answered differently by different rabbis representing different points of view.
I could outline arguments why Jewish law has not until this point accepted gay marriage, but I trust that my Orthodox colleague will do so. I could also argue why Jewish law can now evolve to accept gay marriage, arguments which I am sure my Reform colleague will put forth. But instead of reiterating these arguments, I will repeat the wise words of the Talmud, “elu v’elu devarim chayim” “These and these are the living words of God.” Both sides have can find support for their views points in our tradition. And both sides would be wise to take some time to truly understand each other’s teachings.
What I think is crucial to acknowledge here is that Judaism itself has the elasticity to allow for a multiplicity of viewpoints, even opposing ones, to come under the same heading of “Jewish thought” or “Jewish practice.” The rabbis of the Talmud blessed us with a long tradition of arguing back and forth over points of Jewish law which often ended with a statement “teiku” – in effect, “we agree to disagree.”
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Question: Does a parent have a responsibility to force a teenage child to keep certain mitzvot such as observing Shabbat or Kashrut?
Many parents would love to force their teenage children to do lots of things: do their homework, clean their rooms, and help take care of their younger siblings. But, as parents of teens know, trying to force a teen to do anything they do not want to do is fruitless. So, trying to force a teen to observe mitzvoth will only cause stress and friction in the house. Moreover, once a teen has reached the age of bar mitzvah, 12 for a girl or 13 for a boy, Jewish law states that it is then their responsibility, not the parents, to observe, or not observe mitzvot.
A parent can encourage a teen age child to be observant and provide him or her with positive Jewish experiences. But Judaism is not a religion of coercion. No one should force anyone else to observe any of the mitzvoth.
If you would like your teenager to be more observant, why not have a conversation with them about what they find to be meaningful in Judaism. Ask them what “works” for them in Jewish practice. What rituals do they like? What makes them feel good? Happy? Comforted? Safe? Loved? Grateful? Connected to others? Connected to God? Be non judgmental and very open to what they tell you. You may be surprised. If you can help them connect a real feeling to a practice, then they will be motivated to continue with a practice once they realize that it makes them feel good.
You may want to do this exercise for yourself before you have this conversation with your teen. Think about your own practices and what you get out of them. What feelings and associations do they bring up for you? (Positive and negative) What motivates you to continue to observe as you do?
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Question: My daughter stopped speaking to me when I told her that she needed to start dieting and exercising . I feel that I followed the rule of treating others as I would like others to treat me. I'm very hurt by her actions. I refuse to apologize. Am I wrong?
The rule you are referring to was stated by Rabbi Hillel when he was asked to give the main lesson of the Torah while standing on one foot. Hillel stated: "What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow; that is the whole Law: all the rest is interpretation."
In my experience, most women feel hurt and insulted when someone tells them that they should lose weight. By telling your daughter that she should start dieting and exercising you have communicated to her that she does not look attractive and should lose weight. You may have felt that you were telling her this out of love and concern, but this was clearly not how she heard it. You may also feel that you would want someone to tell you if you started to put on some weight. But take a moment to reflect on a time when someone said something hurtful to you about your appearance… Your wearing that?....It’s so brave of you to let your hair go grey….You have such dark circles under your eyes. You should get some rest… such comments are always hurtful, even when they are not meant to be.
Truly, no one wants someone else to tell them that they should start dieting and exercising. Hiding behind the tradition by saying that you were only treating your daughter the way you would want to be treated is a misuse of the tradition and blatantly not true. If you would like to repair your relationship, you should apologize to your daughter and let her know how much you love her. Her weight is her business, not yours.
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Question: If a woman has been in a coma for two years would Jewish Law permit disconnecting her life support in these circumstances? She was not given any other options when she was first admitted to the hospital, was on a respirator and gets her food from IV nutrition, and therefore, her husband feels as though he has no options other than to pull the plug. It has been two years of constant suffering and sadness for both him and her parents. What would Jewish Law say?
If a woman has been in a coma for two years would Jewish Law permit disconnecting her life support in these circumstances? She was not given any other options when she was first admitted to the hospital, was on a respirator and gets her food from IV nutrition, and therefore, her husband feels as though he has no options other than to pull the plug. It has been two years of constant suffering and sadness for both him and her parents. What would Jewish Law say?
By Rabbi Rebecca W. Sirbu
Deciding on care and treatment at the end of life is often a complicated and heart wrenching process. Each case brings unique and individual questions and considerations. Jewish law can be contradictory and different texts can be brought to back up different opinions as to what treatment course to follow or when to discontinue treatment. Real life decisions should be made in consultation with healthcare professionals and a rabbi learned in the bioethics of end of life care.
While Jewish law holds up preserving life as a strong value, so too the law recognizes that there is also a time to die. Furthermore, there are times when human actions should not prevent death from occurring. Two cases from come to mind:
Talmud Ketubot 104a
On the day that Rabbi Judah was dying, the rabbis decreed a public fast and offered prayer for heavenly mercy (so that he would not die.) Rabbi Judah’s handmaid ascended to the roof and prayed (for Rabbi Judah to die.) The rabbis meanwhile continued their prayers for heavenly mercy. She took a jar and threw it from the roof to the ground. They stopped praying for a moment and the soul of Rabbi Judah departed.
In this story, the Rabbi Judah’s maid in effect pulls the plug. She saw that he was suffering and that his friend’s prayers were the only thing keeping him alive. By smashing the jar and distracting his friends from their prayers, she allows him to die. The Talmud approves of her actions.
Sefer Hasidim 723 states:
One may not prevent a person from dying quickly. For example, if there are factors preventing a speedy demise, such as a man chopping wood in the vicinity of a man’s home, and the noise of the chopping prevents the soul from escaping, we remove the chopper from there. Likewise we do not place salt on his tongue to prevent death.
This text, like the Talmud text before, makes it clear that when someone is close to death, we must let them die. Preserving life at all costs is not the right course of action to take. “We do not place salt on the tongue” is understood by many to be an allowance from Jewish law to discontinue medical treatment.
So, given the case above, would Jewish law permit taking this woman off of life support? Yes, Jewish law would permit it.
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Question: To what extent can/should donors to an institution - when donations constitute a majority of the budget - expect to have a say in that institution's policies?
When speaking about donors and institutions it is important to remember that we are primarily talking about a relationship between two people. The person giving a gift to an institution he or she cares about and a professional who is representing that institution. The extent to which a donor expects to have a say in an institutions policies is very much dependant on the relationship that has been established between these two people and how they regard one another.
Following Hillel’s sage advice “Do unto another, as you would have done to yourself,” both the donor and the professional should discuss what each expects to happen as a result of the donation. Is this a donation to a general fund? To a specific program or for a specific purpose? Who decides how the money is to be used? Is the the donor on the board of the organization thus implying that they have a role to play in deciding policies, or not? Each situation is unique.
Many donors do feel that they can and should play a large role in deciding the direction of an organization because they are funding that organization. This expectation is encouraged by Maimonides in his Mishneh Torah. He states that the highest level of giving is when the donor not only gives funds, but helps the person (or institution) learn how to support itself. One could interpret this statement to mean that a donor has an obligation to give additional guidance and advice to the institution he or she is supporting.
However, another of Maimonides statements encourages a donor to give anonymously. If someone is truly giving anonymously then he or she cannot participate in making decisions for the institution because doing so would likely compromise their anonymity. So each donor needs to decide how they want to make their donation and what, if any, involvement they want to have in guiding the institution. These expectations should then be clearly communicated to the professional staff person.
Challenges arise when the donor and the professional do not communicate well and/or have different visions for the future of their institution and how best to achieve their goals. When this happens, their relationship must be guided by the Jewish values that guide all relationships. Each party must treat the other with kavod, respect, and derech eretz, kindness. The individuals involved need to remember that they are working for a common cause. Hopefully through conversation and a striving to understand the other’s point of view, the parties will be able to come to an amicable solution.
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Question: How can we theologically understand weather disasters - from hurricanes and earthquakes to deadly blizzards and droughts?
How can we theologically understand weather disasters - from earthquakes, to deadly blizzards, to drought?
By Rabbi Rebecca W. Sirbu, Director, Rabbis Without Borders,
CLAL – The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership
Natural disasters can cause enormous human suffering as we have seen over the past several years from the Tsunami in Thailand, Hurricane Katrina in the Gulf States, and the earthquakes in Haiti and Japan. There is no easy way to explain the cause of these disasters. It is human nature to ask why they happened, what could have caused them, and what role God could have played in these disasters. If God is all good, all powerful, and all knowing, how could such disasters occur?
So is God all good, all powerful, and all knowing? As children, we are often taught that God is all of these things, yet as we grow in to adults we realize that they cannot all hold. If God is all of these things then it would follow that natural disasters, and human suffering could not occur. A “Good God” would not willfully inflict suffering on humans. An “All knowing God” would know if something bad were about to happen, and would prevent it. And an “All Powerful God” would have the power over nature and would be able to control it.
Jewish theologians have grappled with this issue of the nature of God and why bad things happen for centuries. The Book of Job details how Job is hit by one tragedy after another. Yet, Job still holds fast to his faith in God. The message of the book is that we can never know God’s true nature, and we have to trust that God has reasons for why bad things happen. Some people find this theology reassuring. They accept that we can’t understand everything that happens in this world, and can live with that. They turn to God for support during difficult times, and their faith in God does not waver.
Modern theologians Rabbi Mordechi Kaplan and Harold Kushner hold on to the belief that God is good, but not all powerful. During the time of creation, some chaos was left in the world. It is this chaos that causes natural disasters and illness. God does not have the power to control this chaos. They too counsel that we can turn to God for support during difficult times, and do not blame God for the chaos which causes the suffering.
Another modern theologian, David Blumenthal, asserts that God is all knowing and all powerful, but not all good. He believes that both good and bad have their origin in God. This being the case, we have every right to confront God, and empower ourselves by expressing our anger at God. He asserts that expressing our anger is a way to be in relationship with God. And being in the relationship is important for our healing.
Take a moment to think about each of these viewpoints. Which of these theological views resonates with you? One of the beautiful facts about Judaism is that we are not told what exactly we must believe about God. It is up to us to struggle with our own beliefs. There are no easy answers, and there are no right answers. There is only the answer that makes sense to you, and brings you some measure of comfort when tragedy hits. So, what do you believe?
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